The older I get, the less I know what im doing.
At least that’s how it feels sometimes.
There may (will) be some people reading this that will understand this feeling completely, but remember you aren’t alone. We aren’t in school anymore where we must know what we are doing with our lives and how we are going to get there, with each step meticulously planned out.
Life doesn’t work that way and never will, there will be twists and turns and bumps in the road that you wont see coming; it will change what you want, and what you have.
But remember, that’s okay.
I’ve realised on this degree what I really want to do, has very little to do with my degree. That was something I really didn’t see coming when I started year 2 of university, but I’m not going to just throw it away and wallow, because I realised that my degree is still an important stepping-stone to where I want to be. I don’t want to be a journalist anymore.
And that’s okay.
I don’t have it all planned out. I have an ambition and drive for where I want to go, and I felt so down about not being where I want to be right now that I thought about giving it up and throwing it all away, but I would gain nothing from that. I was low, feeling that I was spending a lot of money, to have no money and time to not be doing what I wanted; but I realise now that, its not the case. I can use this, all I needed was to change my perspective; don’t leave, don’t give up this is just a turn in your very long road.
Change is terrifying and exciting, I have no idea where I’m going or what I’m doing and that’s okay.
It’s going to be okay.