As a university student I am often asked by my family or friends, from back home, what I do at uni apart from studying. I usually simply answer that I either go to the library, hang out with friends or go to a few house parties.
However, I am well aware that if you aren’t a student you cannot really picture what a typical house party entails. So to all of you reading this, if any, let me enlighten you with a few of my weirdest experiences that have occurred to me and people that I know.
Brace yourselves, despite the stories being written in the first person perspective, it does not mean it has all happened to me.. Only one of these anecdotes is actually mine, can you guess which one?
Disclaimer: All names have been changed for purpose of anonymity and the stories aren’t written in any particular order.
1) I had a male friend, Simon, who had just had a bad falling out with one of my friends, Danielle, as he had been ignoring her messages and avoiding her for weeks. After a night out, I planned on heading over to Simon’s house but Danielle wanted to come along to confront him. She spent an hour yelling at him.At one point I was about to fall asleep on the sofa so Simon and his housemates offered for me to sleepover at theirs but before Danielle left, she wrote an angry note threatening to put a curse on the house that would kill all of them if any of them laid a finger on me. He and I ended up sleeping in the same bed and no, Danielle’s curse did not work, but her angry monologue was definitely an Oscar-worthy performance.
2) I was sitting on the toilet minding my own business when all of a sudden someone blackout drunk barges in, picks me up and throws me over his shoulder. At this point my trousers were still down so you can imagine how hilarious this all looked. He puts me down and makes me roll him a fag. Moral of this story is always lock the bathroom door at a house party.
3) I once lost my bag at this party and couldn’t find it anywhere. I asked friends to help me look for it but after a while I got distracted and completely forgot about it. A while later I was walking around the house and some random strangers started asking me if I found it which reminded me to continue my search. None of them knew how my bag looked and one guy tried giving me someone else’s purse…but the moral of the story is that drunk students are surprisingly helpful.
4) Someone fell asleep on the floor with a pillow and blanket while we were drinking so obviously we couldn’t just let them sleep peacefully. We staked boxes, Jack O’Lanterns and whatever was lying around to create a 1.5m high crown on his head and taped his hands together. Moral of the story is to always sleep with one eye open.
5) You’re probably wondering why you still haven’t heard of any make out scenes at a house party, but don’t fret I’ve left the best for last.A few months ago we got invited to a Halloween party where I got quite drunk so at one point I decided to sit down to relax a bit. Next to me was a drug dealer and we ended up talking about his whole life. About his mother being disappointed in him for dropping out of uni etc. He seemed quite nice so when I started feeling sick I didn’t want to interrupt him so I continued listening and he wouldn’t stop talking. At one point he leaned towards me for a kiss so I did the same.. However instead of a kiss he got my vomit all over his face. I don’t think he was too happy about that but on the bright side I felt much lighter and better. Moral of the story: don’t kiss and throw up.